by Abby Maxman, country director, CARE Ethiopia and former country director for CARE International in Haiti

Taken from a longer piece written by Abby to her CARE colleagues on January 14, 2010

As we all reel with grief and concern in the aftermath of the horrific and massive earthquake that struck near Haiti's capital, Port-au-Prince on January 12, I am drawn back to my own personal and professional relationship with the poorest country in the Western hemisphere. As a humanitarian and development professional for more than 20 years, I try to unpack its troubled history, fast forwarding to this week's events, and rewinding again to my own experience as country director of CARE International in Haiti from 2004-2006.

Weeks into my tenure in Haiti, Tropical Storm Jeanne stopped over the city of Gonaives for several days, putting the city underwater, wreaking havoc and destruction, killing more than 3,000 people and displacing tens of thousands of others in what, then, was the worst natural disaster in Haiti in more than 40 years.

Whether one has personal experience with Haiti, is a student of its history or is simply a caring human being, we are all suffering and grieving for Haiti today. We all want to help, in some small way. We all struggle to understand how Haiti can suffer so much from natural disaster, underpinned by man-made issues of discrimination, marginalization and geopolitical forces that have torn Haiti's social fabric for more than 200 years. And yet, despite the confluence of history, extreme poverty, exploitation and marginalization, Haitians have proven, repeatedly, to be among the world's most resilient people.

My two years as CARE's country director in Haiti are part of who I am today. One cannot leave Haiti, live and work alongside its vibrant people without being touched by their passion, promise and despair. I recall arriving in Gonaives – as soon as I could gain entry after the 2004 floods – with death all around, falling to my knees and weeping with a survivor, 8 months pregnant, as she waited for food relief from CARE. Amidst the sewage around us, I tried to understand how she had the strength to survive and help her 5 children do so under such extreme conditions.

When I read the first hand account of the earthquake by my dear colleague Sophie Perez, today's Haiti country director, I tried to imagine myself in her shoes… Sophie and her amazing team will give of themselves for 18 plus hours a day for months on end, responding to the immediate crisis – to try to find and support survivors. Then, they will turn to the painstaking process of rebuilding Haiti, one cement block at a time. It is painstaking work, in the face of relentless criticism, under the world's most challenging circumstances.

Perhaps our collective grief of this tragedy can lead to something that provides opportunity for a new Haiti, one that is not one of repeated and endless suffering, but one of hope and dignity and opportunity. Working alongside Haiti's great people and professionals, I know that we can win a victory over grinding poverty and defend dignity. The people of Haiti deserve nothing less. And we must ensure that the man-made troubles that make Haiti so vulnerable to repeated natural disasters do not repeat themselves.

Never again.

Photo: 2010 Evelyn Hockstein/CARE

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